What’s a Conspiracy Theory? Part 1: The Folk Definitions

What’s a conspiracy theory? That’s easy, if you just want to use a common, fuzzy, folk definition that people often mean when they use the term:

Folk definition #1:
A conspiracy theory is a wacko claim that only crazy, paranoid, or slightly-off people believe.

Such as, say…

• • • Celebrities and politicians are actually alien shape-shifters.
    • Jews control the weather.
    • The Covid vaccines contain microchips.
    • The white vapor trails behind airplanes are mind-control chemicals.
    • 9/11 was an inside job.
    • The CIA killed John F. Kennedy in 1963.
    • The 2024 assassination attempt against Donald Trump was faked by his allies, with the Secret Service and FBI in on it.
    • The “one-percenters” are conspiring to suppress everyone else.
    • Tech titans are cooperating to gather our personal data and obtain total control of society.

Now, if any of those statements made you think, “wait, that’s not a conspiracy theory, that might be true,” then you’ve just hit upon a vital corollary to the above folk definition:

Vital corollary to folk definition #1:
A conspiracy theory is what some other guy believes, not what I believe.

This folk definition is purely negative

It’s meant to dismiss an idea as being highly dubious or absurd, and almost assuredly false. To give it a nastier spin, you can use “conspiracy theory” in this context to insinuate that the claim is so obviously flawed and implausible, anybody who believes is must be naive, stupid, or brainwashed.

This makes it a handy term to insult someone’s intelligence. More aggressively, you can also use it to call someone a liar, opportunist or criminal, in saying they’re only peddling some claim for personal gain—through, say, stoking fear and anger to sell pricey doomsday kits, attract social media followers, or get themselves elected to office.

One thing is clear: the target of the insult is definitely not being singled out as a brave truth-teller who’s exposing the real plots of evil-doers scheming in secret.

Which leads us to a positive folk definition

Folk definition #2:
A conspiracy theory is the truth that powerful people are trying to hide and weak “sheeple” are too blind or afraid to face.

Thie positive folk meaning is purely reactive to the negative definition (given first above)  encountered far more frequently.

People accused of believing or spreading a “conspiracy theory” can use this second folk definition to appropriate the term and return fire. When deployed with the loudest contrarian zeal, its paints someone who defends or promotes the “wacky idea” not as a dimwit or a sucker, but rather a brave truth-teller. In this context, “conspiracy theorists” are courageous societal warriors who are sufficiently clear-eyed and principled to call a lie a lie, even if it means facing the wrath of the powerful people who are using that lie as a cover story to pursue their evil interests.

That bogus cover story is usually an “official” or “mainstream” explanation that came from published government reports or major news organizations, and is now found in textbooks and widely accepted as true—by experts (such as scientists, historians and other scholars) or the majority of everyday people, and often (though not always) both.

For example, people who may support this positive folk definition (and regard individuals labeled as “conspiracy theorists” to be heroes) might believe that several of these “official” explanations are false cover stories:

• • • Al-Queda was behind the 9/11 attacks.
    • The 1947 Roswell aliens were Air Force test dummies.
    • Burning fossil fuels is causing climate change that could bring disastrous consequences.
    • The measles vaccine has been proven safe.
    • Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in assassinating John F. Kennedy.
    • In December 2014, 26 children and adults were killed at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, and no actors were involved.

Isn’t it just the negative definition with a sarcastic switch?

Yes, this positive folk definition derives its meaning from sarcasm that is, again, wholly reactive to the negative folk definition of “conspiracy theory” given first. So you could argue that it’s not an alternative definition at all, in that it doesn’t reject or toss out that more common negative meaning. Rather, it keeps the pejorative message intact while adding sarcasm; what’s being derided as bad becomes good, the truth.

If you dial down the sarcasm, you can use a diluted form of this positive folk definition (with a generous helping of the “rhetorical tool” meaning given below) to, once again, insult your enemy. You can do this by asserting that anyone who uses the term “conspiracy theory” has instantly revealed themself to be a liar who wants to hide the truth—and likely “one of them,” meaning they’re aligned with the evil schemers behind the secret plot.

A term used by the evil-doers themselves…and homing signal for the truth?

To levy this insult, you’re simply noting that your malevolent, deceitful enemy is using “conspiracy theory” as its usual dismissive insult in an attempt to cover something up—but their act has only drawn attention to what they’re trying to hide. So if they’re calling something a false “conspiracy theory,” any alert person should immediately suspect that it’s true.1 Sort of like a dumb person telling an armed burglar “don’t look in that drawer.”

In this context, you’re framing the term as a revealing homing signal for the truth. This usage often comes in a rebuttal, after the enemy has slammed some claim as a conspiracy theory. But people also deploy it as a preemptive maneuver to weaken an anticipated attack. (“Now, friends, you can bet that they’re going to call what I’ve said ‘just a conspiracy theory,’ because they want to throw you off the trail…”).

Framing the term this way can have powerful tribal resonance, with a goal being to encourage an automatic thought akin to, “whenever our powerful enemies and their toadies or deluded followers call some idea a ‘conspiracy theory,’ I automatically know it’s true.” This obviously doesn’t make a “conspiracy theory” mean a good thing. It more reflects a hope that your enemies will remain predictable and uninventive in doing their bad things.

The most boring and annoying meaning…folk definition #3

Last among the folk definitions is one that frames “conspiracy theory” as a rhetorical “card to play” when you want to divert or shut down a conversation or debate.

Folk definition #3:
A “conspiracy theory” is a rhetorical device used to get out of a conversation or debate, or change the topic, in a face-saving way.

When someone slips these loaded words into a “let’s just agree to disagree” beg-off, it can sound like this:

“You know, this is really interesting topic, but—no offence—I’m just
really not in the mood to get into conspiracy theories right now.
So if we could talk about something else, I’d appreciate it.”

Here, the speaker is either wary or weary of talking about something that:

1. they actually know something about, but have no interest in “getting into it” or continuing the conversation;
2. they truly have no clue about, but don’t want to reveal how ignorant they are; and/or
3. they may be passionate or indifferent about, but they’re losing a debate or argument and need a Hail Mary to escape with dignity.

Now, if you are forced to use this rhetorical strategy against someone, rest assured that you’re simply being a self-aware human being who only has so much tolerance for nonsense, and only so much time to live. And that time would be better spent talking with agreeable people about enjoyable things.

On the flipside, if some jerk actually has the audacity to use this strategy against you—and dares to call something you believe a “conspiracy theory”—the surge of indignation and anger you feel will immediately tell you that it’s a sanctimonious, cowardly surrender from a pathetic rube who’s trying to hide how stupid they are. Right? (See Vital corollary to folk definition #1, far above.)

So those are the folk definitions. Next, let’s look at how actual experts define “conspiracy theory.”

 

Go to next post:  What’s a Conspiracy Theory? Part 2: The Expert Definitions

 

Footnote:

¹ Sort of like a dumb person telling an armed burglar “don’t look in that drawer.”